How Do I Support A Friend Who Was Sexually Assaulted?

Your friends need you to be BRAVE.

Most young people tell a friend first. Are you ready to listen?

When someone shares with you that they have been subjected to sexual harassment or assault, it’s normal to be unsure of how to respond. It can be hard to know what to say or how to show up when you’re being trusted by a friend with something so personal and vulnerable.

That’s why The BRAVE Model™ was created. On this page, we’ll show you the five simple steps to support a friend. When in doubt, don’t forget to check in with a trusted adult or community service.

An animated illustration of two young people sitting on a park bench. The girl has blue hair, is wearing a green sleeveless top, blue jeans, and black platform shoes, with a black bag beside her. The boy has black hair, is dressed in a green plaid shirt over a yellow t-shirt, grey pants, and pink sneakers, with a brown backpack next to him.

Remember, take a deep breath and care for yourself. Check out our Support page for resources like Justice for Children and Youth and Kids Help Phone.

What is the BRAVE Model™?

Poster titled 'Be BRAVE: Five simple steps to support a friend' with steps: Begin by listening, Respect confidentiality, Ask what support looks like, Validate them, Empathize, with descriptions for each. The poster has colorful background and includes logos: POSSIBILITIES SEEDS and HIGH SCHOOL TO, along with a credit for the model, Farrah Khan.

The BRAVE Model© is the original work of Farrah Khan.
It is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0).

You are welcome to use and share the BRAVE Model to support survivors, as long as you:

  • Credit the creator: "The BRAVE Model© was created by Farrah Khan" and link to bravemodel.ca.

  • Keep it as written: don't change, rename, rework or build a new model from it.

  • Don't sell it: it can't be sold or used to make money.n.

  • Listen. Follow their lead. Allow for silence and pauses.

  • Don’t share with friends, post on socials or gossip. They get to decide who to share with and how.

  • Ask what they need, be it rest, access to community supports, or a trusted adult.

  • Remind them they’re not alone, it’s not their fault and that you believe them.

  • Have compassion for what they’re sharing and how they’re feeling. Care for yourself, so you can keep showing up.

The BRAVE Model™ describes a way to show up for a peer who tells you they have been subjected to sexual harassment or sexual assault. This is called a ‘disclosure’ or ‘disclosing’. Note: You are not expected to be a counsellor; you are their friend.

BRAVE is a guide with each letter of the word representing a simple step you can take to respond to a friend’s disclosure with care:

A new e-learning platform for students will be launched in November.

The Be BRAVE learning resource is free, self-paced, and designed with and for young people. You'll work through real scenarios, build your skills and leave knowing exactly how to show up for a friend when they share that they have been subjected to sexual harassment or assault. Including:

  • What to say (and what not to say) when a friend discloses

  • How to support someone without taking over their story

  • How to look after yourself while showing up for others

Illustration of a diverse group of people sitting and standing on bleachers against a blue sky, some taking photos and others smiling and chatting.

When was the BRAVE Model™ created?

The BRAVE Model™ was created in 1998 by educator, survivor and advocate Farrah Khan. It started as part of a zine she created for concerts and community events about sexual assault. Today, it’s a trauma-informed framework that over 100,000 have been trained in.

Learn more
A woman sitting on grass near a lake at sunset, with arms wrapped around her knees and a sad expression.