Gender-based violence continues to grow and it doesn’t have to be that way
This op-ed appeared in the Toronto Star’s Opinion Section on December 6, 2025.
“Oh, he only gets mad because he cares,” our friend says about her boyfriend. Laughing it off, she shows our group a string of his texts: where are you?; who are you with??; why haven't you answered me???; if you really loved me you wouldn’t do this ...”
Everyone nods along. I stare down at my lunch. No one calls his controlling behaviour what it is: dating violence. Those texts aren’t a red flag for future harm; they are harm.
Even with our silence in that moment, it’s no secret that these types of controlling behaviours are part of an alarming trend. Research from the University of Calgary found that over one-third of Canadian teens in dating relationships experience some form of gender-based violence, such as psychological control, cyber or physical abuse. Regardless of the communities we’re a part of, I know that everyone wants young people to be safe and supported.
On Dec. 6, the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women, I need to say something uncomfortable to our political leaders. You cannot be shocked that gender-based violence continues to grow when you refuse to sustainably invest in the very spaces where the people most impacted spend most of their time: publicly funded schools.
Today, I’ll see politicians’ social media posts showcasing efforts to end violence. Monday, I’ll go to a school, and like many students across Ontario, I won’t have regular access to mental health support.
Of course, schools alone cannot end the epidemic of gender-based violence among teens. But it could fill one critical gap: providing mental health supports to teens with counselling resources at schools.
According to a 2024 report by Statistics Canada, teen dating violence has increased by more than 30 per cent since 2015. The problem isn’t that teens don’t recognize dating violence; it’s that the education system isn’t sustainably resourced to support our basic needs, including our safety.
What does a healthy system look like?
Educators want to help. They’re overworked and under-resourced. We need more social workers, more counsellors, smaller class sizes, training for educators on being trauma-informed, free mental health support that doesn’t have a six-to-18-month waitlist; if a student discloses they are being stalked, there will be a trusted adult in our school who connects us with support.
Schools are where we can stop violence before it starts and when it happens, give survivors care and those who caused harm a chance to change. The province needs to fund schools like they matter.
When the province chronically underfunds education, the most marginalized among us suffer. As a young Black woman in my last year of high school, the violence young women face does not surprise me. According to the Canadian Women’s Foundation, over 60 per cent of Canadian women have experienced street harassment, often starting as young as 15.
I know; I’m one of them. I have been followed home from school. When I spoke up, I was told I was imagining it and I’d done something to invite it. Girls like me are stereotyped as “fast,” more mature than we are and as a result needing less protection. Instead of being met with victim blaming, we should only be met with care and understanding.
Young people are leading the change that is needed. I’m part of High School Too, working with my peers and adult allies to shape how gender-based violence is responded to in Ontario high schools. It is possible to have futures where respect, boundaries and communication are the norm, not a lesson taught once in a health class. It is important that adults listen and work with us. We can do this work, but only if the provincial government makes new investments in the support that communities are calling for.
We cannot grow futures of consent if the soil needed to take root isn’t nourished. Every day we delay, another student faces harm alone. Invest in us now so that no student believes that “he only gets mad because he cares.”
Ololade Aje is a high school student in Ontario and a Policy Fellow with High School Too.
